GW Sinks Nessie

by William Yeatman on February 13, 2008

It seems that the recent failure to obtain sonar “hits” of Nessie are a sign that the beast has been doomed, and by global warming. Sit back and savor that logic for a moment.

If true, the timing of this, by some accounts, Pleistocene relic (given the Loch’s age, probably not, let alone Jurassic) is curious. After all, there have been numerous, far stronger warmings during the oh, 2 million years preceding that of the late 20th Century – including the 1930s, when she was first sighted – but presumably the most recent warming weakened her to be unable to deal with the cooling of recent years.

Scotland’s (relatively) more modern history, however, also raises some questions about this newest application of the today’s “Twinkie Defense” for all things we cannot rationally explain (or emotionally extinguish). This might also explain why ET and other cryptozoological specimens have made themselves scarce as of late.

The worst part is we also haven’t seen Champ, meaning she, too, may have gone the way of the Loch Ness Monster. Just as I was preparing an endangered Species Act petition seeking her listing as threatened, to remind the hippies what it’s like when their abusively expanded rules designed to limit other peoples’ land use hit home.

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