Suck It Dry: A Modest Proposal

by Matt Patterson on March 12, 2012

in Blog, Features

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Environmentalists are always wringing their hands over the evils of fossil fuels, and no wonder – all these dirty and dangerous substances have done is power multiple revolutions in transportation, manufacturing, commerce and art that have lifted untold billions out of the wretched poverty that characterized most of human life for most of human history.  That is the kind of success loathed by liberals in general and enviros in particular.

Oil, especially, has earned the ire our erstwhile eco-friends, for oil above all has served as the black, gushy heart of Man’s industrial capacity.  And so this naturally-occurring substance, which bubbles up from the belly of the Earth to power our civilization, is demonized and reviled.  Never mind that without this substance, and the brave and brilliant people who find and harvest it, we would have at best a 19th century existence.  We are constantly told that oil is running out!  And that even if it isn’t running out, we shouldn’t be using it, because, you know, someday we will run out.  (Huh?)  Plus, it’s disgusting.  Plus, it’s heating the Earth.  Or something.

The problem for the enviros who evangelize on the evils of oil is simple:  Fossil fuels remain plentiful, cheap, and effective.  We are literally awash in the stuff.  And thanks to new methods of exploitation like hydro-fracking, we appear no way near running out.  So long as fossil fuels remain plentiful and efficient, they will crush so-called green technologies in any marketplace that is even remotely free.  In fact, the only possible circumstance that would actually wean us off oil is if the wells do one day finally run dry.

So I encourage my enviro friends to take a different tack – they should be encouraging oil production!  As much as possible!  The faster we suck the Earth dry, the faster we will transfer to “alternative” fuels (of course, by then, they won’t be alternative, but never mind) or revert to an agrarian existence, either of which would placate the environmentalists’ implacable heart.

What I’m saying is this – if green activists really cared about the Earth, they would ditch their Volts and solar panels and get on board with Big Oil.

I can see the banners now:  “Suck It Dry For Mother Earth!”

Joshua Lipana March 12, 2012 at 11:51 am

As an advocate of laissez-faire capitalism, and as an avid WWE fan, seeing DX used to promote capitalism is fantastic. Blows my mind.

Small disagreement on some details though, in the claim that “without [oil], and the brave and brilliant people who find and harvest it, we would have at best a 19th century existence.” It would be much farther back than that if these things didn’t exist as Rockefeller was creating wonders with oil already in the 19th century.
See Alex Epstein’s “Vindicating Capitalism: The Real History of the Standard Oil Company” for a brilliantly and deep article on this.

Matthew W March 12, 2012 at 7:14 pm

“Fossil fuels remain plentiful, cheap, and effective. ”

That is a fact that I get get through to envorifreaks when they talk about “alternative” fuels.
Why are they trying to reinvent gasoline when we could have more than we would know what to do with if the envrionuts got out of our way !!

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